me: no, i don't..as i'm sick of losing my best beloved guy friend
mom: ok, get it
This is the fact that I have now. And this is one of reason why i keep putting a distance if someone show me some kind of exessive care. It's a lie if i said i don't want to have someone that could love me truthly. But, thinking of negative consequences, it scares me so much.
Yeah, I got a lot of friend but I only have very few that I really comfortable to be with. And, except for spek8, mostly I'm more comfortable with guy friend. By put a full stop on relationship;
- I lost someone to talk to, at anytime, anywhere
- I lost my companion to watch movie, dinner, picnic
- I lost the trusted protection
- I don't feel comfortable going to wedding ceremony
- I lost friend that come along with that friend, quite weird to be friend with secondary friend when we are not in a good condition with primary friend
- I lost my sincere 2nd opinion and critique
- I become someone else that even me couldn't recognise
I asked mr manouqe why all this happened? As we both could be friend even after our relationship end. He said maybe because the feeling is still there. But, I think it's because I've been treated differently.
Please, treat me as a friend. As normal friend if not as bestfriend like before. This is what mr manouqe do, and we still good friend after all.
If this achieved, I might not be scare anymore :)