Officially, i turned to 26 last 13 Nov. And officially, my dream to be married at the age like Rasulullah will only be remained as a dream that can't be achieved as we can't go back to past. It's OK, Allah is preparing something better for me.
As I'm getting older, dad suddenly become anxious about my jodoh. Out of blue, he asked me if i'm going out with someone right now. And for sure the answer is no. I told him that i don't want to think about this anymore for this time being but he said NO! U can't do that as you're getting older by seconds. And for jodoh, we need to put some effort on it. He then start to list out all of my close guy friend and asked me how do i feel about them.
Dad then told me a known story that happened to one guy. He is my sister's close guy friend. When he knew that the night is the malam akad nikah for my sister, he can't sleep as he feel uneasy all the night. But, he never say anything to my sis before this. The guy regret as he need to let go someone he liked because he never express his feeling. Dad said he don't want that thing to happen again to one of my close guy friend. He told me to asked my close guy friend about their feeling towards me. Crazy huh?
I don't really mind the regret that my friend will feel if i get married to someone else. Because they are the man, they need to be brave enough to get me if they like me so much. Dad, if only you know, the only person that i want to ask that question is my pencuriHati. I'm afraid that i will regret marrying someone when i don't really know how pencuriHati feels about us. But i'm too afraid to tell you that truth. I really want to ask him as i don't want to regret later but i don't think i can afford doing that as he seems to be happy with his life and i believe he has someone on his side now. Please always be happy pencuriHati deary T_T :)
Dad is planning to match me with one of his favorite guy and i don't know what to say. I know the condition is if the guy likes me as i used to warn him never ask my hand for marriage after his mum called me to ask about us. And I acknowledge the fact that this guy is a good guy, but am i good enough to be with him? Will i be a good wife and start fresh when i know deepest inside my heart there is pencuriHati?
Ya Allah, this heart belongs to you. I fall in love with pencuriHati because the intuition you gave me. Please make him happy forever. And please give me the same happiness. Ya Allah, if pencuriHati is not the man you made me for, please show me the right man. Please clean and close my heart from men that are not meant for me and please only open it to someone who deserve it, as i want to be d bidadari's leader in your jannah, amin~