friendship end when relationhip end..

mom: dad asked if you have someone special now

me: no, i don't..as i'm sick of losing my best beloved guy friend

mom: ok, get it

This is the fact that I have now. And this is one of reason why i keep putting a distance if someone show me some kind of exessive care. It's a lie if i said i don't want to have someone that could love me truthly. But, thinking of negative consequences, it scares me so much.

Yeah, I got a lot of friend but I only have very few that I really comfortable to be with. And, except for spek8, mostly I'm more comfortable with guy friend. By put a full stop on relationship;

1. I lost someone to talk to, at anytime, anywhere
2. I lost my companion to watch movie, dinner, picnic
3. I lost the trusted protection
4. I don't feel comfortable going to wedding ceremony
5. I lost friend that come along with that friend, quite weird to be friend with secondary friend when we are not in a good condition with primary friend
6. I lost my sincere 2nd opinion and critique
7. I become someone else that even me couldn't recognise

I asked mr manouqe why all this happened? As we both could be friend even after our relationship end. He said maybe because the feeling is still there. But, I think it's because I've been treated differently.

Please, treat me as a friend. As normal friend if not as bestfriend like before. This is what mr manouqe do, and we still good friend after all.

If this achieved, I might not be scare anymore :)